Family matters

Support from family and friends

Recent studies have shown that depression patients who receive love and support from family members and friends have a better chance at making a full recovery than those who lack familial support.

However, caring for a depressed person can be both emotionally and physically exhausting. It is important to remember to take care of yourself. Although it is useful to encourage your depressed loved one, you shouldn’t feel guilty if you are tired of constantly trying to boost their self-esteem and morale. In fact, you may need to consider getting support for yourself as well.

Don’t ask the impossible – either from yourself or the depressed person. Remember that depression cannot be overcome by willpower, and it’s never simply a matter of “pulling yourself together”.

Depression is a biological illness its no ones fault

If we aren’t adequately informed about depression, we are likely to misinterpret a loved-one’s behaviour. We might think it’s our fault that the depressed person is irritable or angry, for instance. It is important to remember that you are not to blame for anyone’s depression – and neither are they.  Depression is an illness. It’s no one’s fault.

It isn't unusual for people who are depressed to feel guilty about the way they behave and feel. Nor is it unusual for family and friends to think that they may somehow be responsible for their loved one’s mood. Keep in mind that the cause of the depression really doesn't matter. All that matters is getting proper treatment.

Warning signs

Depression often impairs rational thought and decision-making processes. As a family member or a friend, you probably don’t understand how your loved one can have desperate or suicidal thoughts, but its not unusual.

Remember, if your relative or friend attempts or commits suicide, it’s not your fault. You are in no way responsible. Nevertheless, you may want to be aware of the warning signs, which include:

  • Talking About Dying – any mention of dying, disappearing, jumping, or other types of self-harm
  • Recent Loss – death, divorce, separation, broken relationship, loss of job, money, status, self-confidence, self-esteem
  • Change in Personality – sad, withdrawn, irritable, anxious, tired, indecisive, apathetic
  • Change in Behaviour – can't concentrate on school, work, routine tasks
  • Change in Sleep Patterns – insomnia, often with early waking or oversleeping, nightmares
  • Change in Eating Habits – loss of appetite and weight, or overeating
  • Diminished Sexual Interest – impotence, menstrual abnormalities (often missed periods)
  • Fear of losing control – going crazy, harming self or others
  • No hope for the future – believing things will never get better; that nothing will ever change
  • Other things to watch for– Suicidal impulses, statements, plans; giving away favourite things; previous suicide attempts, substance abuse, making out wills, arranging for the care of pets, extravagant spending, agitation, hype ractivity, restlessness or lethargy

REMEMBER:

The risk of suicide may be greatest as depression lifts.

Please see the emergency help if you are concerned that someone you care about (including yourself) may be contemplating suicide. Help is available.

Last updated: 31.07.2008
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